bold move, royal harpist.

you got to hang at the wedding reception AND wear my favorite awards look ever???? HATEYOU!

mawwage is a dweam within a dweam

the chairman, checking in

Joe Cool

Oh, herro there.  Have we met?  I'm Maui, the best creature to ever live.  Officially, I belong to the author of this blog contraption, but considering who picks up whose poops, we all know who's really the boss.

Taylor took me to her parents' house for a long weekend, a six-hour journey that involved a little of this:

leash: worst. invention. ever.

...buutttt mostly this:

Taylor thinks that the yoga mat will keep her new car clean and hair-free.  Taylor is dumb.

While I went comatose in the car, Taylor LOLed the whole way there listening to Tina Fey narrate her book:

editor's note: STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND DOWNLOAD THIS TO YOUR IPOD.  I imagine that the traditional reading experience is cool too, but listening to The Fey herself narrate it is pretty freakin amazing.

When we arrived, my Mean Aunt Maggie expressed her displeasure at my presence by barking all the time. Every time she saw, heard or smelled me.  All the time.  Nonstop.  But she's a crotchety old lady of like 84 dog years, so I let her have her space.

deathstare

I mastered several new skills on this trip.  Such as:

Getting As Sandy As Possible

 Deck-Lounging

Being Generally Awesome

although let's be honest, I had that one down from the day I was born

I also got to go to a bar named after a Jersey Shore character and demonstrate my sneaky ability to open all kinds of doors.  Grandpa gave me the nickname "stealth" and then made some military reference to suggest that I should have been named something that means "stealth" in navy-speak.  Yeah, that would have been cool.  Unfortunately for my street-cred, Atlanta Lab Rescue named me Maui Jim and I am super-awesome-extra-genius so by the time Taylor got a hold of me I knew that someone yelling "MAUI!!" meant that I was supposed to run full-speed into that person's crotch, which is apparently impressive to humans, so Maui stuck.

That's all for now, bitches.

rockstars

Jen ran the Boston Marathon with her dad, and besides finishing with great times and being overall impressive human beings, they were by far the best-looking runners there:

Lululemon, if you're looking for modeletes, I've got two perfect ones right here!

wicked fun

Sorry for the lack of posts this week!  I spent the weekend and Monday in Boston watching my bestie and her dad murder the Boston Marathon with lots of wonderful friends, including my fabulous hostess / originator of the blog-inspiring "if the band plays Night Moves, this is heaven" quote! 

Now I'm super busy readying myself for a long weekend in Holden Beach with my family, so the posts might be sporadic for the next few days, but I'll cook up something real good for all both of you soon!

go read modg

One of my favorite blogs to read and a member of the ultra-exclusive People With Babies Who Don't Suck folder on my Google reader, MODG, was recently told by a literary agent to "expand her following" - this chick makes me laugh every day, so I figure I'll do what I can to help her with said expansion. 

Some of my fave posts from the archives:

• I thought breast pumps were shoes. truth.
• And the Cleanse was no longer clean.
• What college really means to me.
• Confession Friday: BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS!
• My friend is getting the poop sucked out of her butt by another person.
• 3 years ago today I married B. And this post is for him. (hearts and rainbows B)
• I found some witchcraft that you pee on and it tells you the future. Should we believe it?
• The final installment of my butt story. That’s what she said.

Enjoy.  And add her to your Reader, friends!

al fresco, part 3 - PUTTER'S

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I'm not sure if this officially counts as "al fresco", as it's more of a covered patio situation, but there's no way Putter's wasn't getting a shout-out here so I don't really care.

Winston-Salem, NC isn't much of a "college town" - having visited real college towns like Athens and Chapel Hill, where the campuses integrate seamlessly with the surrounding city, its inhabitants and its establishments; and which exist because of  the universities therein, rather than in spite of; I realize that Wake Forest's reputation for being a gated country club campus is pretty accurate.

That being said, our city did offer some lovely dining and imbibing options, and I think I speak for a majority of WFU students and alumni when I say that Putter's is one of the very favorites.

homecoming 2009...  #imissmyfriends

The Putter's food is pretty typical bar food - sandwiches, wings, cheesesteaks, and pretty decent salads if you're into that sort of thing.  There are also signs in there that say "best steak in town," but I have to say I've never tried the steak.  Their famous homemade soft chips are everyone's favorite menu item, and they're served with a homemade gorgonzola ranch sauce that almost certainly contains an addictive substance.

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There is a pretty decent selection of draught beers that are available by the pitcher, and they serve tequila shots in plastic condiment cups with little plastic lids, making shot transport dangerously easy (not that we would ever do such a thing...).

Putter's is also walking-distance from the WFU football stadium and equipped with several flat-screen TV's, making it a perfect post-tailgate spot.  I can't say much for the view (you're looking at an IHOP parking lot to one side and a strip mall to the other), but after one soft chip and a swig of Blue Moon, you won't even care.  Promise.

youguys.

I am a huge fan of Mara Hoffman - I love her bright prints that are just tribal enough to feel different but not so crazytown that you feel like Rafiki or Cady Heron's mom.  So I was pretty pumped when Daily Candy Swirl featured deeply discounted MH swimwear today.

I fell in love with this bikini right away.  Bright print, interesting neckline that won't create horrible tanlines but will stay on while surfing, tieless bottoms, check-check-check:

mara hoffman ruched bikini

But. BUT. (BUTT, actually.) Youguys.

 seriously??

like really????

Maybe I am just a super-prude with a big ass who hasn't been to Miami or, like, Brazil lately, but WHO WEARS THIS??  That model could fit inside of my left thigh and even she looks uncomfortable.  And I'm sorry, if the LINING is poking out in the product photo (probably due to some sort of skin-glue mishap), that's just a BAD SIGN.

Is anyone on the same page with me here?  Or am I really just that uptight about ass-showing?  Because now I'm starting to wonder if all of Mara Hoffman's swimsuit bottoms are like this, or if the above is an exception.  I'm hoping against hope that this particular stock of bikinis got relegated to the online-sample-sale afterlife because the sane buyers out there who predict what Kids These Days will be into said nuh-uh when they saw some poor girl's ENTIRE ASS in the lookbook.

[pause for research...]

But(t)...alas...

style 7667-BRD via marahoffman.com

Mara Hoffman ruched 2-piece bikini via Saks

Mara Hoffman tribal bottom via Swell

Not even the "boy shorts" are exempt from superfluous underbutt-cleavage:

Mara Hoffman Aztec Boy Bottom via Swell

It should also be noted that Neiman Marcus' online selection of Mara Hoffman inventory includes ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTOS FROM THE BACK!  And based on what I've seen, the "partial seat coverage" product descriptions are somewhat misleading.  I wonder if the people who write those product descriptions considered a more accurate "BEWARE: NONE OF OUR MODELS WOULD SIGN A NUDITY CLAUSE SO WE CAN'T SHOW YOU ANY BACK-SIDE VIEWS, BUT PLEASE KNOW THAT EVEN IF YOU ARE TINY, IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE SUBTLEST OF PROTRUSIONS BELOW YOUR LOWER BACK YOU WILL BE ESSENTIALLY THONG-CLAD SO DON'T BUY THIS TO WEAR TO YOUR GRANDPARENTS' BEACH HOUSE.  OR ANYWHERE YOU WILL EVER BE WITH YOUR DAD.  OR SMALL CHILDREN.  OR LAW ENFORCEMENT."

Now let's get something straight - I am all for shakin what your mama gave you, and owning your curves.  And I applaud the websites above for employing models with actual booties to demonstrate the fit of these bottoms (ShopBop, for example, sells plenty of Mara Hoffman swimwear, but the model they have wearing it has literally zero butt so those photos wouldn't really help my point).  THAT BEING SAID, I'm still confused about how one pulls off this look.  Are these bikinis designed for swimsuit-and-heels, real-housewives-of-whatever, lounging/cocktail-sipping, no-swimming, no-walking, no-moving situations?  Are some ladies just cool with showing that much underskin?  SIAV, what would the Butt Police say about this?? Is my own ample rump preventing me from an objective analysis?  If the experts could weigh in, that would be much appreciated.

it's not the chase that I love, it's me following you

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I drove to Charlotte for the weekend to visit my boyfriend, and we went to the Avett Brothers concert on Saturday night.  The show was fantastic (CL Charlotte does a pretty good recap here) - the Avett Brothers are from Concord, NC, so this was definitely a hometown crowd for them, and they played a good bit of their older stuff because of it.  I wish I could say I instantly recognized and sang along to every song from the set because, like a majority of the audience on Saturday, I've been a fan since forever, but my admiration of the band only stretches back a couple of years.  Regardless, even though Chris and I were relative newbies, the show was so great and my appreciation for this band has only increased.

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If you're not a fan yet, I'd be happy to share my Grooveshark playlist of my favorite Avett Brothers songs, plus you can check out their Grammys performance with Mumford & Sons and Bob Dylan here.

We were also treated to a really fun opening act, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.  Grace Potter is this cute-as-hell leggy blonde whose musical style is kind of a Bonnie-Raitt-meets-Stevie-Nicks-meets-Tina-Turner situation. 

 

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For a taste of the range, check out the bluesy, real-talk "Big White Gate" and the fun and sexy "Paris - Ooh La La".  They closed with "Medicine" and a full-band drum solo, which Chris eloquently labeled a "percussion orgy."  Girlfriend also pulled the whole thing off in head-to-toe sequins and sick shoes.  Sold.

 via twitter: @gracepotter

To top it all off, the show was at Bojangles' Coliseum, which means that, for the first time ever, I was in an establishment where I could purchase a Cajun Filet Biscuit and a Bud Light tallboy in one fell swoop.  I didn't (not the CFB anyway - such self control!), but it was pretty sweet nonetheless.

literally salivating on the keyboard.

al fresco, part 2 - Provision Company

Warning: this one has quite a back-story.

When my parents sold our beach house in Bethany Beach, DE in 2005 my sister and I were more than a little disappointed.  That beach is where we had grown into ocean-fearless kiddos, where my dad invented the Wave Chicken game, where we learned to boogie board and which arcade games produced the most tickets for the fewest tokens, and, eventually, where we learned to flirt, create humidity-resistant hairstyles, and the finer points of "borrowing" parental alcohol.  Whooolllle lotta memories from that house on 4th street and the rentals that preceded it, and and when it was replaced with a house in Holden Beach, NC, we were WAY more than a little bratty about it.  See, to us, "Beach" meant this...

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(please note crowds, boardwalk, seaside eating/shopping establishments, etc.)

...but our maiden voyage to Holden Beach (which, to be fair, occurred in the wintertime, which wouldn't be a very exciting time to show Bethany to a newcomer either) taught us that "beach," in the south, meant something like this:

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Beautiful? Yes. Peaceful? Yes. Extended beach season? Yes. Boardwalk-equipped and boasting a plethora of cute/tan laxers-turned-wannabe-surfers, Dickey's Frozen Custard franchises, lifeguards and Phillies fans?  Not so much.  In fact, Holden Beach doesn't really boast a plethora of anything (besides baby endangered sea turtles), much less the kinds of amenities that attract 17-to-19-year-old girls.

Fast forward a few years, and I believe to this day that the turning point in our relationship with Holden Beach was a little restaurant/bar on stilts bordering the Intracoastal Waterway called Provision Company.

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This place is just...fun.  Cold beer, live music, ocean air, dock access, no pretense, pay-at-the-counter, and one of the finest delicacies of Brunswick County, if not all of North Carolina, the shrimp burger:

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 just trust me, it's amazing.

Having gone to college in North Carolina only 3.5 hours from Holden and having parents who can tolerate hosting a house full of sorority girls and some straggling man-friends, my sister and I have been lucky enough to introduce many friends to Provision Company, and it never disappoints:

 my dad's such a ladies man

i just noticed that the above two images were taken one year apart and I am wearing the same top in both.  neat.

I think we commandeered 90% of the inside tables to make this happen.

My apologies for the phone pic, but in case you were wondering, Provision Company does indeed carry Smirnoff Ice.

SO, if you're ever anywhere near the Brunswick County beaches in North Carolina, I INSIST that you stop for a shrimp burger and a beer at proco.

you can do a lot with mime

I love this video the BBC produced with British comedians to give Prince Harry some tips for his Best Man toast:

"he would get a lot of sympathy if he stuttered"

diet diary (i know, i know...)

BORRRINNGGG.  Diets suck, and no one likes to read about them unless the subject is how some celeb lost her baby weight which is only interesting because it's basically like reading instructions for executing the patronus charm.

 (...in that it's exciting, but us mere muggles mortals will never make it happen.)

ps, get the eff out of here gisele.

source (don't say I didn't warn you)

BUT, I'm going to ramble on about my South Beach experience here mostly because I don't have any readers to bore and also because, per Goal Setting 101, if I write it down, I'm more likely to follow through with it.

I tried the South Beach Diet last fall and lost about 8 pounds in 2 weeks after which I inhaled 30 beers and 9,000 cheese fries. Fail.  Plus, the whole time, I was totally miserable and basically anti-social/depressed  because of the whole not-drinking thing (don't call it withdrawal).  So this time around I have made two crucial modifications:

1. I am allowing myself to drink socially.  I don't care if that totally defeats the purpose of the diet in the first place, I want to have fun with my friends.
2. I have a buddy!  One of my roommates and I are in this together, and the moral support/accountability/cooking buddy are making all the difference.

If you're unfamiliar with Dr. Agatston's diet, it's basically a low-carb situation broken out into three phases of torture:

1. Phase 1: No carbs besides vegetables. No sweets (with the exception of some sugar-free, opposite-of-natural, suspicious dietfood options), no pasta, no bread, no rice, no sugar, no fruit, no alcohol, etc. etc. etc.  Sneaky veggies with a high glycemic index like corn, carrots and peas are also out.  The goal of this phase is to "break your carbohydrate addiction" and teach your body to get its energy from protein and fibery carbs like veggies.  I am currently on day 9 of phase 1, which traditionally lasts 2 weeks.  I have been doing pretty well minus the drinking and one major indiscretion involving a pizza cookie that a friend sent for my birthday.  #shame.
2. Phase 2: Didn't make it here the last time I tried this diet, but I'm looking forward to it.  Phase 2 is referred to by Dr. A as the "long-term weight-loss phase of the plan," and introduces whole grains, sweet potatoes, popcorn, some fruits, etc.  Bagels, ice cream, carrots and high-glycemic-indexed fruits like bananas, pineapples, and fruit juices are still out.  You stay on Phase 2 until you reach your goal weight.
3. Phase 3: Allegedly phase three lasts FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You apply the principles learned in phases 1 - 2 but because it's the lifelong stage of the plan, it includes almost every kind of food and it allows for additional occasional indulgences and blah blah blah.  So technically, you can eat bagels again but you WON'T EVEN WANT TO. Yeah right. 

I'd like to be able to say with confidence that going through this process will make me more aware of the food choices I make, curb my tendency to choose starch over protein or fiber, and keep me super skinny for the rest of my life, but really I just want to look bangin on my trip to Key West in May and photogenic in a couple of bridesmaid dresses this summer. 

My diet partner-in-crime and I have been doing a lot of cooking over the past week, and there are some surprisingly delicious meals out there that are South Beach-friendly.  Plus, since most recipes yield about 4 servings, I've been bringing my leftovers to work for lunch which is budget-friendly as well!

Some of our favorites so far include:

• Stuffed Bell Peppers
• Grilled Steak Wraps with Spicy Peanuts
• Kale and Cashew Stir-Fry
• Roasted Cauliflower with Garlic
• Kale Chips (lots and lots of Kale Chips)

I have not photographed a single one of these cooking endeavors, because I am the Worst Wannabe Blogger Ever, but I do have a sad little cameraphone shot of my at-desk lunch today!

Chicken salad with mixed greens and marinated slaw compliments of Zoe's Kitchen 

Crazy storms wrecked Atlanta on Monday, and since our power was out until this morning we didn't do much cooking.  Without leftovers for lunch this week I indulged (monetarily, not gastronomically) in a bunless chicken sandwich with sprouts, mushrooms, cheddar cheese and sunflower pesto from Yeah Burger and the above chicken salad salad with marinated slaw from Zoe's Kitchen.  The pictured bowl held about 1/4 of what I purchased, so I'll be makin' the Zoe's last for the next few meals.

As far as results go, I made the mistake of not weighing myself until day 6 of the diet, so I'm not exactly sure what my baseline was, and if I've lost any weight so far. Because of my alcohol modification, I'm not expecting the same kind of 8-lbs-in-2-weeks results I saw the last time I tried SB, but I do think this diet has the potential to work for me.  Bready sweets, pasta, and other nasty-carbs have always been my weakness, and eliminating them from my diet has to do SOMETHING, right??

I'll keep you posted. 

al fresco, part 1 - JCT kitchen's rooftop bar

There is just something special about enjoying a meal or drinks (or both) in the sunshine!  Not a novel concept, I know, and I doubt I'd be able to find very many people who disagree, but my roommates and I spent some time on the patio of a new bar/restaurant in our neighborhood yesterday, and it inspired me to make a list of my favorite outdoor imbibing establishments.

I'll start with an Atlanta favorite - JCT Kitchen's rooftop bar.  This spot strikes the perfect balance between swanky and cozy, with a beautiful view of Atlanta's skyline, an inventive bar menu (angry mussles. do it.), and, for the mixology-suckers among us (ahem, myself), an awesome array of artisinal cocktails (that menu is left over from the winter, but the "figgy pudding"?? yes PLEASE).  Plus, the acoustic soloist will almost always try to play Night Moves, which earns this spot an automatic win.

In a perfect blogging world, this would be the point in the post where I display a number of artfully-shot, high-resolution photos of my casually beautiful friends and myself recently enjoying a sophisticated outside aperitif at JCT.  Unfortunately, I'm working with a camera whose most exciting feature is the "tan" setting, and as beautiful as my friends truly are, we're not quite sophisticated drinkers yet.  I have no photos taken at JCT, and photos I do have from nights that started at JCT tend to look like this:

gotta love the tan setting

So, I'll leave you with some classier photos from the interwebs:

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If you find yourself in the A this spring/summer (or any time of year, really - they've got some pretty serious heat lamps!) and you're feeling a nosh/sip under the sun (or stars), BE SURE to check out JCT Kitchen's upstairs bar.  It will not disappoint.