vacay post / photo fail

I took fourteen photos on my trip to the Florida Keys, all crappy, and all with my phone. My first real "couples vacay" and there are no actual photos of myself and the BF together.  In fact, there is actually only one photo that includes myself at all, and in it I am wearing a pair of mens swim trunks.  FAIL.

There were moments during the trip when a little voice inside of me would say "hey, you're riding a bike alongside the southernmost point in the US, this would be a good moment to whip out your camera" or "a paddleboarding action shot would make a legit profile pic - ask Kunu over here to snap a photo" or "the sun is setting into the ocean behind you and Chris is wearing something besides work clothes, lacrosse shorts or a novelty Dos Equis short-sleeved-button-down polyester monstrosity, and you look tan - ask this lovely gay couple to take a photo of the two of you."  But the voice was always squelched by a slightly louder voice that said something like "I haven't ridden a bike since Amsterdam in 2006 and at that time I ran into several parked cars so maybe photography-whilst-cycling isn't the best idea" or "I don't want Kunu to think I'm some lame tourist who does anything besides zen out on the paddleboard, and plus I know that if I take my eyes off of Chris for more than 4 seconds he will push me in the water...again" or "that lovely couple is enjoying the sunset intimately and I'd hate to interrupt, plus I have a drink in my hand and getting my camera out of my bag would just take too much effort."

So, unfortunately, I don't have any beach-frolic-couple-laughing-sporty-activity-sunbleached-photoshopped images to share, or to have as keepsakes forever as memories of our first real trip together, but although that is a kind of a shame, I am pretty glad we just lived in the moment, and that our strolls and chats weren't interrupted with asking strangers to photograph us.  I am also glad there is no photographic evidence of how poorly I ride a bike.

Strangely, however, I did manage to capture the following special moments with my phone:

First rum punch of the trip at Morada Bay Beach Cafe in Islamorada during the drive from MIA to EYW.  This place was so, so awesome and I would definitely go back.  Chris had to take a work call so I flew solo for this one and I wasn't even the teensiest bit resentful.

Chris had some work to do and calls to make on Thursday morning so I spent a few hours jogging walking around Key West and browsing shops for a pair of swim trunks, which Chris had forgotten to pack.  He was adamant that I not pick out anything "short and euro" (ahem, he did not appreciate my Vilebrequin recommendation), so I did some trying on to ensure that the trunks would be acceptably baggy and long.

 

These are real things that people ostensibly wear.

During my solo exploration I wandered around Mallory Square (the site of the famous Key West Sunset Celebration, of which I don't have any photos, obviously) and took some time to review the Key West War Memorial, which includes plaques in chronological order  for every war in which the island of Key West was involved, ending with the War On Drugs.  Keep on fightin the good fight!

My four roommates and I (as well as our countless woebegone admirers) refer to our house as the Heartbreak Hotel, so obviously I sent this pic back home.  Jen's response: "I will pay ca$h money for that sign."

Selling puppies to drunk tourists on Duval Street should be a crime.

 

A CRIME I SAY!

Look at that stud.

Naval Air Base in the background.  I think I had planned on sending this to my dad?  I don't know.  Beat Army!

This was a fun surprise - bocce is a very, very serious sport in Key West, and the bocce courts by which we scootered (scooted?) excited Chris to no end.

One of my favorite bars was this place called The Porch, which is right off of Duval but still a little off-the-beaten-path-ish.  It specializes in "cheap wine and expensive beer" (you had me at cheap wine) and when sampling the latter I ADORED this Shiner Ruby Redbird.  It has a hint of grapefruit and ginger - the Shiner website describes it as a "crisp and refreshing summer beer" and I wholeheartedly agree.  The Porch is also where we met this guy, author of The Pub Scout, and who, self-proclaimedly, "gets paid to go to bars and drink beer."  Ahem, Kurt, are you interested in hiring an apprentice?

 

You can't go to the keys and not indulge in key lime pie, right?  This slice is from Blue Heaven, the site of my favorite meal from the trip.  Also, this photo was taken after approximately 75% of the piece of pie had been consumed.  Not kidding.

As Maggie put it, "Miami is so G"  - oh yeah, did I mention we also spent a night in Miami?

Mr. and Mr., eh?  Oh well, points for personal touches and non-discrimination.

 So, there you have it!  My stunning travel photography!  As far as would-I-go-backs, the following establishments get the jtay seal of approval:

• Robert is Here, Homestead: If you are driving from Miami to Key West, as we did, I wholeheartedly recommend making your first pit-stop here.  It's this weird little fruit stand / petting zoo with fresh-fruit smoothies and milkshakes, and its exit off of US-1 also includes a CVS, for stocking up on SPF 900 Sport Sweatproof Waterproof Tearproof Sunscreen for Ghosts Gingers if your travel companion requires it.
• Morada Bay Beach Cafe, Islamorada: this definitely gets a spot on my al fresco all-star team, and even though I didn't actually order anything to eat there, I can attest that the cocktails are excellent, the gratis chips and homemade bell pepper salsa are delicious, and the view just cannot be beat.
• Southernmost on the Beach Hotel, Key West: would absolutely stay here again.  The location was perfect for us - walking distance to all of the downtown Duval Street mayhem, but situated on the water and tucked away enough that it's not loud and rowdy.  The pool bar drinks were also some of my favorite of the trip - nearly all were made with freshly-squeezed juices rather than pre-packaged juice-food, which, if you know me, is a major plus.  I was kind of apprehensive when I read some of the online reviews that said that the older (cheaper) rooms really seemed old (mildewy smell, chipped bathroom tile, etc), but our room, which was not the most expensive option by any means, was spacious, spotless, and appeared recently renovated. 
• The Cuban Place Across the Street from Our Hotel, Key West: Chris and I strolled here every morning for a good-but-cheap breakfast sandwich and some Cuban coffee (espresso, steamed milk, and heaps of brown sugar).  There was a good mix of locals and tourists here, so we knew it was at least semi-legit, and it was definitely cheaper and most likely better than the breakfast option at the hotel.
• Willie T's, Key West: Chris would kill me if I didn't include this because this was his favorite meal of the week (he had a bacon cheeseburger, if I remember correctly).  Plus, my boy is also a mojito fan - who knew?  Standard bar fare with pretty decent sea food (we split calamari and I had seared tuna - both were great), and a fun live band.
• Blue Heaven, Key West: This place was real Key West-y - wandering cats/chickens, eccentric servers, fresh-caught mahi mahi, the aforementioned enormous key lime pie, etc. etc. We ate here for lunch and absolutely loved it.
• The Russian chick selling fresh-squeezed-lemonade with vodka in it from a stand on Duval Street, Key West: self-explanatory
• The Porch, Key West: see above. The staff here is also so completely nice and willing to recommend a beer to you even if your knowledge of your own beer preferences only extends to "I like girly beers but I don't want to drink something cheesy" - hence, the Shiner Ruby Redbird.  Chris also had a really great Dogfish Head draft - My Antonia.
• The Angler's Boutique Resort, South Beach Miami: We got a great deal on this spot via Jetsetter, and we really enjoyed it.  The staff was SUPER accommodating, from in-room check-in, to squeezing us in for a last-minute brunch reservation on Mother's Day, I was very impressed with the service.  There were a few things that bugged me about the room (full-length mirror placement, lack of towel bars/hooks in bathroom, etc.), but overall it was a really nice experience.  I also had the best margarita of my LIFE here (Patrón, fresh lime juice, splash of fresh pineapple juice, salt & chili powder rim, crushed ice. BAM.)
• Joe's Stone Crab, Miami: What Bone's is to Atlanta, and Peter Luger's is to New York; Joe's is to South Beach - but with a focus on their signature stone crab instead of beef.  It's the oldest restaurant in Miami (or so said our server), and definitely had that old-school gangster-luxury vibe.  Being a Maryland blue crab girl, I was apprehensive to try these cartoony-big, red-and-black, chilled, Old-Bay-less crab claws, but they were so delicious.  Plus, they come pre-cracked (BLASPHEMY! HALF THE FUN IN EATING CRABS IS THE PICKING! YOU MUST WORK FOR YOUR CRUSTACEAL ENJOYMENT! dad. chill out. I'm in Miami bitch.) As with a steakhouse, the sides shine as brightly as the mains, and our hash browns and sauteed corn were amazing.
• The Lazy Dog, Key West: This is where Kunu rented us our paddleboards, and it was great and everything, but I'm really only including this so I can say that I biked ESSENTIALLY 10 MILES ON FRIDAY TO GET TO THE PADDLEBOARDING PLACE AND BICYCLING BASICALLY TERRIFIES ME SO PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR PRAISES FOR ACHIEVING THIS GREAT LIFE ACCOMPLISHMENT! #whitegirlproblems

do less.

The "meh." list:

• Cafe Marquesa, Key West: Besides Joe's, this was our only "fine dining"experience, and you guys, it sucked.  I feel bad admitting this, because I had read some great reviews of this place and I was the one who pushed for it (Chris was hoping for a return visit to Willie T's, sigh).  I was looking forward to this being our one "fancy night" and I don't know if we ordered wrong or what but everything was pretty disappointing.

So, that's it kids!  I'll try to post more often now that I'm back in the A. Until next time, the weather outside is weather...