cohab tales, episode one

So I moved in with my boyfriend.  The experience so far has been absolutely wonderful (no sarcasm, promise).  We've lived apart for three years, and finally being in the same city, in the same little house, is really very nice.

There are, of course, some things to get used to.  And because I do not want to turn into a naggy, bitchy, grouchy person, I am trying to express my concern over certain undesirable lifestyle habits in passive-aggressive creative, light-hearted ways, that hopefully also get the point across and inspire real - yet nondramatic - change.

Exhibit A - E-Mail, sent this morning:

MILDEW

an installation sculpture by the modernist newcomer, Christopher [hislastname]

Materials:
three damp towels that were pain-stakingly cleaned and dried by the artist's loving girlfriend mere days before;
rapidly multiplying cells of obligate parasites in the species of fungi in the order erysiphales;
flippant disdain

Showing at the [ourhomeaddress] Gallery, now through when the artist again desires adult nighttime activities

 sent from my Verizon Wireless Blackberry

update

Hello, singular reader.  I apologize for my radio silence over the past weeks.  Some exciting and/or time-consuming events have begun to unfold in my little old life, and I haven't had much time for introspective vain life-chronicling.

What's that? You'd like an update? With photos? And, in the absence of photos, MSPaint art? BUT OF CARSE!

1.  The major reason for my lack of posts has been illness.  A sinus infection was treated with a Z-Pack, which caused a clostridium difficile infection. DO NOT GOOGLE CLOSTRIDIUM DIFFICILE.  Just trust me.  I only mention this ordeal because this is the sickest I've been as a Real Life Adult, and I learned some important lessons, which I feel compelled to share here:

• When you feel sick, go to a doctor.  You are much better off seeing a physician at the onset of your illness rather than in the throes of it, because your ability to do things like, say, drive yourself to the doctor, will only diminish over time.  Take 2 hours out of your life and see a doctor.  They know things and they dispense drugs.  Do it.
• Go to a legit doctor's office.  Your instinct might tell you to go to the nearest Minute Clinic because it most closely resembles the Student Health clinic from college, which, besides your ladydoctor, is the only healthcare provider you've really actually visited since the pediatrician you continued to see throughout high school.  But you are an Adult now, and you need to establish a primary care physician who can see you quickly, keep track of your medications/health history, and be available for follow-up appointments as necessary.  You will think, "oh it's too much trouble to see a legit doctor, I'll have to fill out forms and wait a week for an appointment."  You will think this because this is often the case with the ladydoctor, but for a general practitioner, this will not be the case.  Yes, you will have to fill out some new patient forms, but they will most likely be available online, so you can fill them out in the 24 hours between your call to schedule the appointment, and the appointment itself. It is extremely embarrassing that at 25 I am just now figuring this out, but I have the sneaking suspicion that this predicament applies to lots of people my age.
• Dicyclomine is a wonderdrug, but its listed side effects should include "enhanced bewilderment and decelerated time perception while viewing certain art-house films that your well-meaning and more-cultured roommate insists you see together."

2. In the past month, I've attended bachelorette weekends thrown for two close friends by their respective Maids of Honor, both of whom are also the brides' sisters.  I knew that both weekends would be excellent fun and neither disappointed in that department, but I didn't anticipate the realization that one day, I am going to get to throw a party like this for my own sister.  This really, really excites me, and she should begin preparing her liver now.

MOH Channing, MOB Colleen, Bride Jordan

Bride Lisa, MOH Laura

One-day bride Blair, and future MOH myself.
Preview of debauchery to come, courtesy of Chi Omega Owloween '07 - perhaps a Baywatch/Harry Potter-themed bachelorette party is in our future?

3.  Speaking of weddings, my pretend-cousin Lee is getting married in October!  Lee and his brother Devon have been like brothers to Blair and I - their parents are our parents' best friends and also our Godparents, and this will be the first wedding for our little pseudo-family.  I am beyond excited for Lee and his fiancée Allison, who so very generously has included Blair and I as bridesmaids!  We are thrilled to be such an important part of their big day, and I know it will be so special for my parents to watch us stand with their Godson as he says his vows.

I mean, stop. How cute is this??

Beyond the significance of the day and the emotional family aspects of this event, I am also PUMPED for the party.  This is a group that loves to dance, and isn't afraid of usurping the microphone from the paid entertainment.  This can only make for an epic reception.

Mom and Lee

Lee, Evan (Blair's BF) and Dad.

4.  I'm moving!  As of July 17, I will be a resident of Charlotte, NC.  After 3 years in separate cities, the boyfriend and I have decided to co-locate (a term Chris uses, which I think he may have made up, and which I adore for its official-sounding nerdiness).  This is a Really Big Step for the ole relash, but a decision that I am 100% confident is the right one for us.  Besides, who can resist a man with such style?

this shirt was a joke

this shirt was not.

Obviously I am pumped to remove the "long distance" label from our relationship status, but there are some other benefits to calling the Queen City my new home.  Namely:

this person:

sisterladyfriend

and this person:

lisayourlastnamewillchangeinonemonthOMG

The prospect of the actual move is stressful, and the thought of living more than 10 feet from these little ladies already gives me separation anxiety:

And see the ginger there?  That one and I have lived together since January of 2007.  The only thing keeping my spirits up about our impending separation is anticipating the comical way in which we will both try to Irish Goodbye each other on moving day.

All that being said though, my cohabitants in the Heartbreak Hotel are all moving on to some really exciting new places and/or jobs, and I am so thrilled for each of them.  I am so proud to call these sexy ladies my besties, so lucky to have met them in the small-world-random way that we came together, and so confident that our annual Friendsgiving reunions will be basically the best time anyone's ever had.

There is, of course, the question of finding gainful employment in Charlotte.  If anyone knows anyone in the marketing/public relations/corporate communications industries in Crown Town (not kidding, that's an actual city nickname), I'd greatly appreciate an introduction!

5. Because this post has been chock-full of cheese, I'd like to close with actual cheese.  Trader Joe's Mini Brie Bites, to be specific.  They're delicious, portion-controlled, and adorable.  That's all.

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all hail the pubscout (aka, I'm a sucker for flattery)

As I mentioned, we met a dude named Kurt Epps in Key West at The Porch, who has a blog called The Pub Scout in which he included a post about his own trip to Key West, in which resides the following paragraph:

Another bar that was a must-visit was a place called The Porch. If you love craft beer in all its diversity, do not miss this place. It's in a former mansion called the Porter mansion. Be forewarned, however, that you'll need to acquire your victual elsewhere, as there is no food served here. Chris Shultz, the amiable, free-spirited owner, didn't want the hassles of staff, kitchen regs, etc. He simply dreamed of opening a bar that had the finest beers available, and that he has done exceptionally well. A glance at some of the photos on the right will attest to the wide range of offerings. On my visit I opted for DogFish head's My Antonia. Two, to be precise. And I drank them seated next to a lovely young couple named Chris and Taylor. Taylor, a stunning beauty, initially drank wine, but I browbeat and embarrassed her sufficiently that she went the beer route after one glass. When I asked Chris which beer was his best seller, he answered emphatically, "Magic Hat #9, without question."

Aw, shucks.  Thanks Kurt!

Besides the hyperbolic flattery, Kurt is also the man because he captured the one and only photo of Chris and me from the trip!

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If you're into beer, motorcycles, and/or travel, go give the Pub Scout some love (not literally, he's happily married, but you know).

vacay post / photo fail

I took fourteen photos on my trip to the Florida Keys, all crappy, and all with my phone. My first real "couples vacay" and there are no actual photos of myself and the BF together.  In fact, there is actually only one photo that includes myself at all, and in it I am wearing a pair of mens swim trunks.  FAIL.

There were moments during the trip when a little voice inside of me would say "hey, you're riding a bike alongside the southernmost point in the US, this would be a good moment to whip out your camera" or "a paddleboarding action shot would make a legit profile pic - ask Kunu over here to snap a photo" or "the sun is setting into the ocean behind you and Chris is wearing something besides work clothes, lacrosse shorts or a novelty Dos Equis short-sleeved-button-down polyester monstrosity, and you look tan - ask this lovely gay couple to take a photo of the two of you."  But the voice was always squelched by a slightly louder voice that said something like "I haven't ridden a bike since Amsterdam in 2006 and at that time I ran into several parked cars so maybe photography-whilst-cycling isn't the best idea" or "I don't want Kunu to think I'm some lame tourist who does anything besides zen out on the paddleboard, and plus I know that if I take my eyes off of Chris for more than 4 seconds he will push me in the water...again" or "that lovely couple is enjoying the sunset intimately and I'd hate to interrupt, plus I have a drink in my hand and getting my camera out of my bag would just take too much effort."

So, unfortunately, I don't have any beach-frolic-couple-laughing-sporty-activity-sunbleached-photoshopped images to share, or to have as keepsakes forever as memories of our first real trip together, but although that is a kind of a shame, I am pretty glad we just lived in the moment, and that our strolls and chats weren't interrupted with asking strangers to photograph us.  I am also glad there is no photographic evidence of how poorly I ride a bike.

Strangely, however, I did manage to capture the following special moments with my phone:

First rum punch of the trip at Morada Bay Beach Cafe in Islamorada during the drive from MIA to EYW.  This place was so, so awesome and I would definitely go back.  Chris had to take a work call so I flew solo for this one and I wasn't even the teensiest bit resentful.

Chris had some work to do and calls to make on Thursday morning so I spent a few hours jogging walking around Key West and browsing shops for a pair of swim trunks, which Chris had forgotten to pack.  He was adamant that I not pick out anything "short and euro" (ahem, he did not appreciate my Vilebrequin recommendation), so I did some trying on to ensure that the trunks would be acceptably baggy and long.

 

These are real things that people ostensibly wear.

During my solo exploration I wandered around Mallory Square (the site of the famous Key West Sunset Celebration, of which I don't have any photos, obviously) and took some time to review the Key West War Memorial, which includes plaques in chronological order  for every war in which the island of Key West was involved, ending with the War On Drugs.  Keep on fightin the good fight!

My four roommates and I (as well as our countless woebegone admirers) refer to our house as the Heartbreak Hotel, so obviously I sent this pic back home.  Jen's response: "I will pay ca$h money for that sign."

Selling puppies to drunk tourists on Duval Street should be a crime.

 

A CRIME I SAY!

Look at that stud.

Naval Air Base in the background.  I think I had planned on sending this to my dad?  I don't know.  Beat Army!

This was a fun surprise - bocce is a very, very serious sport in Key West, and the bocce courts by which we scootered (scooted?) excited Chris to no end.

One of my favorite bars was this place called The Porch, which is right off of Duval but still a little off-the-beaten-path-ish.  It specializes in "cheap wine and expensive beer" (you had me at cheap wine) and when sampling the latter I ADORED this Shiner Ruby Redbird.  It has a hint of grapefruit and ginger - the Shiner website describes it as a "crisp and refreshing summer beer" and I wholeheartedly agree.  The Porch is also where we met this guy, author of The Pub Scout, and who, self-proclaimedly, "gets paid to go to bars and drink beer."  Ahem, Kurt, are you interested in hiring an apprentice?

 

You can't go to the keys and not indulge in key lime pie, right?  This slice is from Blue Heaven, the site of my favorite meal from the trip.  Also, this photo was taken after approximately 75% of the piece of pie had been consumed.  Not kidding.

As Maggie put it, "Miami is so G"  - oh yeah, did I mention we also spent a night in Miami?

Mr. and Mr., eh?  Oh well, points for personal touches and non-discrimination.

 So, there you have it!  My stunning travel photography!  As far as would-I-go-backs, the following establishments get the jtay seal of approval:

• Robert is Here, Homestead: If you are driving from Miami to Key West, as we did, I wholeheartedly recommend making your first pit-stop here.  It's this weird little fruit stand / petting zoo with fresh-fruit smoothies and milkshakes, and its exit off of US-1 also includes a CVS, for stocking up on SPF 900 Sport Sweatproof Waterproof Tearproof Sunscreen for Ghosts Gingers if your travel companion requires it.
• Morada Bay Beach Cafe, Islamorada: this definitely gets a spot on my al fresco all-star team, and even though I didn't actually order anything to eat there, I can attest that the cocktails are excellent, the gratis chips and homemade bell pepper salsa are delicious, and the view just cannot be beat.
• Southernmost on the Beach Hotel, Key West: would absolutely stay here again.  The location was perfect for us - walking distance to all of the downtown Duval Street mayhem, but situated on the water and tucked away enough that it's not loud and rowdy.  The pool bar drinks were also some of my favorite of the trip - nearly all were made with freshly-squeezed juices rather than pre-packaged juice-food, which, if you know me, is a major plus.  I was kind of apprehensive when I read some of the online reviews that said that the older (cheaper) rooms really seemed old (mildewy smell, chipped bathroom tile, etc), but our room, which was not the most expensive option by any means, was spacious, spotless, and appeared recently renovated. 
• The Cuban Place Across the Street from Our Hotel, Key West: Chris and I strolled here every morning for a good-but-cheap breakfast sandwich and some Cuban coffee (espresso, steamed milk, and heaps of brown sugar).  There was a good mix of locals and tourists here, so we knew it was at least semi-legit, and it was definitely cheaper and most likely better than the breakfast option at the hotel.
• Willie T's, Key West: Chris would kill me if I didn't include this because this was his favorite meal of the week (he had a bacon cheeseburger, if I remember correctly).  Plus, my boy is also a mojito fan - who knew?  Standard bar fare with pretty decent sea food (we split calamari and I had seared tuna - both were great), and a fun live band.
• Blue Heaven, Key West: This place was real Key West-y - wandering cats/chickens, eccentric servers, fresh-caught mahi mahi, the aforementioned enormous key lime pie, etc. etc. We ate here for lunch and absolutely loved it.
• The Russian chick selling fresh-squeezed-lemonade with vodka in it from a stand on Duval Street, Key West: self-explanatory
• The Porch, Key West: see above. The staff here is also so completely nice and willing to recommend a beer to you even if your knowledge of your own beer preferences only extends to "I like girly beers but I don't want to drink something cheesy" - hence, the Shiner Ruby Redbird.  Chris also had a really great Dogfish Head draft - My Antonia.
• The Angler's Boutique Resort, South Beach Miami: We got a great deal on this spot via Jetsetter, and we really enjoyed it.  The staff was SUPER accommodating, from in-room check-in, to squeezing us in for a last-minute brunch reservation on Mother's Day, I was very impressed with the service.  There were a few things that bugged me about the room (full-length mirror placement, lack of towel bars/hooks in bathroom, etc.), but overall it was a really nice experience.  I also had the best margarita of my LIFE here (Patrón, fresh lime juice, splash of fresh pineapple juice, salt & chili powder rim, crushed ice. BAM.)
• Joe's Stone Crab, Miami: What Bone's is to Atlanta, and Peter Luger's is to New York; Joe's is to South Beach - but with a focus on their signature stone crab instead of beef.  It's the oldest restaurant in Miami (or so said our server), and definitely had that old-school gangster-luxury vibe.  Being a Maryland blue crab girl, I was apprehensive to try these cartoony-big, red-and-black, chilled, Old-Bay-less crab claws, but they were so delicious.  Plus, they come pre-cracked (BLASPHEMY! HALF THE FUN IN EATING CRABS IS THE PICKING! YOU MUST WORK FOR YOUR CRUSTACEAL ENJOYMENT! dad. chill out. I'm in Miami bitch.) As with a steakhouse, the sides shine as brightly as the mains, and our hash browns and sauteed corn were amazing.
• The Lazy Dog, Key West: This is where Kunu rented us our paddleboards, and it was great and everything, but I'm really only including this so I can say that I biked ESSENTIALLY 10 MILES ON FRIDAY TO GET TO THE PADDLEBOARDING PLACE AND BICYCLING BASICALLY TERRIFIES ME SO PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR PRAISES FOR ACHIEVING THIS GREAT LIFE ACCOMPLISHMENT! #whitegirlproblems

do less.

The "meh." list:

• Cafe Marquesa, Key West: Besides Joe's, this was our only "fine dining"experience, and you guys, it sucked.  I feel bad admitting this, because I had read some great reviews of this place and I was the one who pushed for it (Chris was hoping for a return visit to Willie T's, sigh).  I was looking forward to this being our one "fancy night" and I don't know if we ordered wrong or what but everything was pretty disappointing.

So, that's it kids!  I'll try to post more often now that I'm back in the A. Until next time, the weather outside is weather...

it's not the chase that I love, it's me following you

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I drove to Charlotte for the weekend to visit my boyfriend, and we went to the Avett Brothers concert on Saturday night.  The show was fantastic (CL Charlotte does a pretty good recap here) - the Avett Brothers are from Concord, NC, so this was definitely a hometown crowd for them, and they played a good bit of their older stuff because of it.  I wish I could say I instantly recognized and sang along to every song from the set because, like a majority of the audience on Saturday, I've been a fan since forever, but my admiration of the band only stretches back a couple of years.  Regardless, even though Chris and I were relative newbies, the show was so great and my appreciation for this band has only increased.

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If you're not a fan yet, I'd be happy to share my Grooveshark playlist of my favorite Avett Brothers songs, plus you can check out their Grammys performance with Mumford & Sons and Bob Dylan here.

We were also treated to a really fun opening act, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.  Grace Potter is this cute-as-hell leggy blonde whose musical style is kind of a Bonnie-Raitt-meets-Stevie-Nicks-meets-Tina-Turner situation. 

 

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For a taste of the range, check out the bluesy, real-talk "Big White Gate" and the fun and sexy "Paris - Ooh La La".  They closed with "Medicine" and a full-band drum solo, which Chris eloquently labeled a "percussion orgy."  Girlfriend also pulled the whole thing off in head-to-toe sequins and sick shoes.  Sold.

 via twitter: @gracepotter

To top it all off, the show was at Bojangles' Coliseum, which means that, for the first time ever, I was in an establishment where I could purchase a Cajun Filet Biscuit and a Bud Light tallboy in one fell swoop.  I didn't (not the CFB anyway - such self control!), but it was pretty sweet nonetheless.

literally salivating on the keyboard.